Apocalyptic Announcements

Posted in General, news, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on April 28, 2020 by jezzywolfe

 

Hey, you!

Popping in to see how everyone is holding up. Any zombies yet? Yes? No?

Stay active, stay upright!

(Responsibly and considerately, of course.)

I had a few things to drop on you guys, so hopefully, your brain matter is a fine shade of gray today. I am doing well, these days. Moving right along…

 

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My first poetry collection, Monstrum Poetica, is now completed. I don’t have publishing information for you just yet, but what I can tell you is this… 17 monsters, 50 poems, and a wonderful introduction by New York Times Bestseller and FIVE Time Bram Stoker Award Winner JONATHAN MABERRY. Because go big or go home, amiright? I will be posting more updates for this when I have them, but keep your eyes on this space for news.

And that brings me to my next announcement. Angela Yuriko Smith, fantastic poet and editor of the highly respected magazine, SPACE & TIME, interviewed me for a spotlight on her blog. That interview is up now and can be read HERE. Stop by and show her some love, because she is a wonderful wordsmith that you are probably missing out on. You’re welcome.

Speaking of SPACE & TIME, guess which magazine is publishing one of my poems? Look out for their summer issue, coming this June, to find my poem ‘Mother, Mad’. You know, you should be reading these guys, anyway. They have been around a long time, and that says a LOT about the quality of their work. I am honored to make an appearance in their pages.

I will be adding some features to my blog, as well. Look for interviews with some impressive poets and authors to start gracing my blog in the near future. People you should read, people you should follow, people worth your time and appreciation.

Take care of yourselves, friends. And thank you so very much for your encouragement and companionship. We are none of us alone… don’t be afraid to reach out to those around you. You may never know when you make all the difference to someone struggling in silence.

Things are about to get lively. ❤

~ Jezz

My Dystopian Present

Posted in General, Uncategorized with tags , , , on March 26, 2020 by jezzywolfe

Nothing like a pandemic to amp up all that paranoia, am I right?200204130938-cdc-coronavirus-illustration-large-169

Every cough. Every sore throat. Every ache. I experience these things typically, anyway, but these days, they are more ominous. Typical allergies. Typical symptoms of being a healthy woman who has not yet experienced ‘the change.’ And the news isn’t reassuring. More articles surfacing about otherwise healthy people dying from the virus. People my age. People with no known health issues, otherwise. People they assured us would be okay.

Not that it is ever okay to dismiss casualties as just a given. They are numbers to most of us, but they are the universe to someone out there. They are never easily written off. Never expendable.

And too many people are happy to show us their true colors. Those colors happen to be inhumane, greedy, hypocritical, callous, arrogant, and cold-hearted. Check your newest box of crayons.

They are in there. The ugliest colors in the box.

My family is safe and at home. On the bright side, we have food, shelter, entertainment. I have much writing to do, and many reno projects I can focus on. I have my adorable ferrets to love on. We are still at risk anytime we must leave the house, and while we do take precautions, short of a full body hazmat suit, it never feels like enough. So we avoid it as much as possible. We won’t starve anytime soon. Plus, we are stocked on the toilet paper.

Finances have me on edge, as I am sure they do everyone, right now. I border sheer panic a few times a day, currently. I keep reminding myself this is a temporary situation. But no one knows how temporary. If we were buying our house, I would have already talked to our mortgage company. But I don’t have that option and I suspect we won’t be given any leniency, despite the fact every single one of our jobs are officially shut down.

It will pass. It will pass. It will pass. Breathe.

Each_Uisge

Each-uisges are the most dangerous of the water horse.

I haven’t updated in a while, so to let you know where things are for me, I have been putting more effort into my poetry. I’ve pushed it in the direction of horror. Currently, I am at work on my first collection, titled MONSTRUM POETICA. A collection of poems about various monsters from around the world. There are the standards… vampires, werewolves, zombies… but I wanted to go beyond that and dig into creatures not as mainstream. I’m talking wendigos and mothmen and bubaks and each-uisges and jinn and aswangs and yokai. Just to name a few. Wink.

Turns out, there’s a lot of really twisted stuff out there. I am having a blast learning about it. And the challenge of transferring it into poetry, well, I am up for it. You’ll see.

When I am able, I will make more announcements about this upcoming collection. I

Manananggal

The Manananggal is a particularly evil aswang, popular in filipino folklore

already have some exciting details I could add, but they will have to wait. I am nearing completion as far as composing the poems. Then there will be edits and formatting, gathering an introduction, etc. That’s before any announcements can be made as far as publishing information.

But, rest assured, it will happen. I have plenty of downtime right now to make it so.

And I will.

Stay tuned, stay home, and stay safe, my friends.

 

 

The Year of the Shatter < Shattering the Glass Roomba

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on January 1, 2020 by jezzywolfe

On this eve of another year, I look back at the road behind me. And all I can see is what has been lost along the way.

I’ve seen many posts from friends, fondly recalling the victories of 2019. I’ve read all of it with a smile. Good for them. And I mean that sincerely. I am happy to see friends doing well. Winning at life. Floating by on their impeccable Roombas.

I need to see that. All my friends. All those Roombas. Even if it is just to distract me from my own pitiful reminiscing.

Because there is no winning in this, I’m afraid. No impeccable Roomba. Hell, I didn’t even come away from this one with a second-hand Swiffer.

I have always known I will never be one of those ‘cool kids’  that makes up the nucleus of a fantastic social solar system. I’ve always been too quiet, too awkward, for that. I’m the one on the outside. The observer. Of course, we all say this about ourselves, don’t we? That we are all outsiders? But I can out-outside-awkardly-observe the best of them. It’s true. I am so good at it, in fact, I’d still only manage to nab an honorable mention for it. That damn good.

I’m too old to change this about myself. It’s not even my worst quality, so why try? In the end, it won’t be my keen sense of not fitting in that holds me back. All of that lies soundly within me. The ability to sit on my hands and decide I am not good enough. I’ve honed that skill for decades, now. It’s a razor, that one. I don’t need anyone else to point out the flaws I already know by heart.

I suppose by now you are waiiting for me to announce what I plan to change this coming year.

Frankly, I don’t know. I don’t do resolutions, I just decide to do whatever it is I do. I could make a list of things I wish would happen. Things worth praying for, should I chose to pray. But I don’t believe any of that will help. And please don’t see this as an opportunity to impart some great, spiritual secret with me, please. Those aren’t secrets. That was my life before. And that chapter closed a year ago. I learned the hard way that it was never my prayers or wishes that mattered in the first place.

Needless to say, 2019 was a harrowing year. The Year of the Shatter. Your experience may have varied. God, I really hope, for your sake, it did.

The year before ended so painfully, I could not fathom how it could get worse. But it did. Wow. Financially, it was a nightmare that I have yet to wake from. Professionally, it was a void. It started off with flickers. Tiny candle flames.

But then came all the damn rain. Not even a wisp of smoke remained.

There will be a time I can look back and see the things I learned from this. I will see where my strengths took root and grew. I am not there yet, so this is my version of optimism. It’s all I can muster right now. The desperate plea to the Universe that this fuckery lets up on me.

That there is a light, and no, it is not an oncoming train.

But I won’t know that for a while. I am not there yet. One day. Someday.

I will say, I think my voice continues to grow. I’ve written quite a bit of new poetry. I’ve written new fiction. Haven’t put it out there yet, but I will. Eventually.

Maybe soon, I will join you all. I will have my own impeccable Roomba. Maybe even before Roombas become passe, and everyone else has moved on to Sub-Atomic Dust Busters. Or Hadron Collider Dirt Devils.

All I can do… all I can ever do… is hope.

Burn a candle for me.

 

SQUIRREL!

Posted in General, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on September 8, 2019 by jezzywolfe

It’s rather frustrating.

I start every day with the intention of sitting down and knocking another WIP out of my To Be Completed folder. I have good intentions, really.

I open up the folder.

“No, nope, nooo, no, hell no.”

And then I stare at the various projects and try to figure out why the hell I can’t just finish one before starting the next?

If you know, I am all ear…eyes…because I have no answer.

There are days I work on Lui and Jax and cannot believe how well it is moving. I open it up the next day, and it’s the equivalent of slug racing. That’s also an apt description of how impressed I am with what I wrote the day before. So I close it up and move on.

I open one of a dozen and a half different short stories in various stages of unfinish, and can’t remember where I wanted the story to go. Or why.

If I am at home in my cave, my eyes will wander away from the screen and fall on any

one of a dozen projects that piled up in front of my bookshelves or on my desk. The clutter distracts me. I feel guilty for taking the time to write when there is chaos everywhere I look.

Sometimes I will try to overcome that particular obstacle by spending a few hours at a Starbucks with my tablet. I can often make decent progress there. The downside to that plan is the delicious temptations in the glass case. My widening gut and backside can attest to that.

It feels like I haven’t found the perfect solution. Or the perfect schedule. I spend about FOUR hours a day driving. Not all at once, but throughout the day. Which does not help me formulate a steady schedule for myself. If I want to focus on writing, it usually means I can’t focus as much on exercise.

(Before anyone balks, I know well that there are plenty of authors who make time to keep themselves in shape. They have all my admiration and respect, because I can’t figure out my happy medium to save my life.)

This is where I am now. Frustrated. Scared. Irritated. Disheartened. Bordering hostility. Hating my reflection as much as my lack of discipline.

I questioned if I wasn’t struggling with some amount of Attention Deficit Disorder. Maybe I am, who knows? As much as I love to read, I find it ever more challenging to focus. When did I become this scattered? Maybe I should see a doctor about this?

The reasons I haven’t are another can of worms.

SO… I sit here. Glaring at this screen. My cave is tidier, but I still feel pulled in a thousand directions. I’m trapped inside myself and unable to grab the reins.

 

 

I want to be more than this. I used to believe I could be. How do I get back on track?

Better News for Better Days

Posted in General, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , on August 12, 2019 by jezzywolfe

Despite the recent struggles, 2019 has not been without some accomplishment. I don’t think I have kept my blog updated with these announcements, and I apologize for the silence. So, if you happen to be curious…

In January, my short story, Branching Out, appeared in NECROCASTIZINE, Issue 2. It is available for purchase directly through me, so if you’d like a copy, send me a message. This is a fun, grassroots publication, edited by Tommy Clark, and features fiction and articles that highlight all things horror and heavy metal.

 

Over the summer, my flash fiction story, Talisman, appeared in Crystal Lake Publishing’s SHALLOW WATERS, Vol 1. It is available for purchase on your kindle, and can be picked up HERE.

 

This month, my non-fiction article, Mosh Pit Salvation, appears in NECROCASTIZINE, Issue 3. The article discusses the three artists I feel are the biggest influences on me, to date. Just a little musical FYI, if you will. If you are interested in a copy of this, also feel free to message me about purchase details.

 

I have a couple projects lined up for 2020 that I am not ready to discuss yet, so there is that on my horizon. Currently, I am deep in edits for my first novel, THE TRENCH, a tech based horror thriller.

But I am also starting a new venture… a series of middle grade fiction novels about a young Puerto Rican girl named Luisa, and her magical, portal-opening ferret, titled LUI AND JAX. More news on that to come, as it is available.

I am scheduled to do another live reading at Fright Flight in Portsmouth, VA this October, but I do not have further information on that at this time. The readings have been well-received, and this will be my …fifth year? I lose track.

So, despite any struggles on the personal front, I am still plodding forward, professionally. Attempting to really dig into my work right now, to get me through this challenging time. I really appreciate the support and encouragement of my friends, and readers.

You may not realize how much of a difference you make. I promise you, you are all a big deal.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

~ Jezz

In Conclusion

Posted in Uncategorized on August 10, 2019 by jezzywolfe

I have struggled on and off with depression for most of my adult life. Unfortunately, this past year has been a pretty consistent downward spiral.

It started with my mom’s death. And then it just continued downward.

Every single situation resulted in the worst case scenario. Hardly any good news to speak of. We went from finally being financially stable to struggling again. The support I had largely disintegrated. While everyone’s advice has been, consistently, to pour my frustration into my writing…I cannot work that way.

Instead, the pain has festered and smothered me.

Now with the future possibility that I will be forced to abandon the last dream I held on to and succumb to a draining, life-sucking minimum-wage existence, I am finding it harder to play happy any longer. This is not the life I wanted for myself. I didn’t ask for this. I advised against this, in fact, many many times.

But again, I am ignored. I am often ignored. I am used to not being heard. I despise being ignored. It feels a lot like being forgotten…another sensation I am far too familiar with. I handle none of this with grace, either.

The question is, how long do I sit here and let this eat away at everything that defines me?

I am feeling really isolated. That doesn’t just anger me…it breaks my heart.

It no longer matters who agrees. I don’t need any more pep talks. Everyone will offer all those cliche’d answers, but they are not in my shoes. They don’t really know that this, too, shall pass…they can only make the assumption.

I started each day with the hope that it would pass. And it doesn’t. I fall asleep to tears, and they are still there when I wake up.

There will be no more poetry. There will be no more laughter.

There will only be blank screens and empty channels.

And me.

News to You!

Posted in Contest, General, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , on February 6, 2019 by jezzywolfe

The year got off to a very rough, very shaky start. But I am not sitting on my hands in despair. I decided to push myself. Finally. As of now, I’ve sent off three submissions this past month. One is in the reading phase, and it will be months before I know if it made the cut.

The other two have faired pretty well.

TODAY, my flash story, TALISMAN, is available to be read and voted for on the CRYSTAL LAKE PUBLISHING Patreon. Yes, you need to be a CLP supporter to read and vote, but you can sign up for just $1 a month. They offer great perks to their supporters, and a metric butt-ton of fantastic fiction. (Yes, I measured it.)

If you want to check out TALISMAN and give me a vote, head over to https://www.patreon.com/posts/24508424.

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Additionally, a second flash story is available for voting at the Stitched Smiles Publications site. It’s a fun little story, titled ONE FANTASTIC BAUBLE. Head over and take a peek at it. Maybe give it a like or a comment. Doing so is a virtual high five, and I appreciate it. Sincerely.

If you want to check out ONE FANTASTIC BAUBLE, head over to https://stitchedsmilepublications.wordpress.com/2019/02/03/stitchedsaturday-2-2-19-jezzy-wolfe/

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My intention this year is to keep pushing forward. I want the year to end with at least one solo published project, if not more. I am still working on my BEELZEBACON novella, and still contemplating a poetry or short story collection. My first novel, THE TRENCH, is awaiting edits so I can work towards getting that published, as well.

I am also contemplating launching a Patreon account, that would provide my supporters with a regular stream of new content, as well as recipes and goodies from my KetoB!tch blog. More information on that once it’s better fleshed out.

Meanwhile, GO. Check out my stories. I hope you enjoy them.

All my love, guys.

Jezzy