Archive for July, 2012

Freeze Tag Contest: ROUND 2!

Posted in Contest, Freeze Tag with tags , , , , , , , , on July 28, 2012 by jezzywolfe

BUT…

Before we jump right in to another crazy pool of scavenger huntiness, it’s time to announce the winner of last week’s game.  The person receiving a copy of UNNATURAL TALES OF THE JACKALOPE is:

PATTI RIGGERT!

Congratulations!  You are about to be totally freaked out by the cute and the absurd.

And for those that didn’t win this time around, no worries.  I will be giving away another copy of this anthology in three weeks.  So don’t give up!  A book of crazy bunnies with antlers can still be yours.

Freeze Tag: Round Two 

This week’s prize is a FREE copy of ZIPPERED FLESH: TALES OF BODY ENHANCEMENTS GONE BAD!

Freaked out by implants?  Scared of tribal tattoos?  You, my friend, have issues.  But you might just appreciate an entire anthology of macabre fiction based on the augmented.  Smart Rhino Publications debut anthology has received great reviews so far, and continues to totally freak out readers on a regular basis.  So if you want a copy of your own (you sick, sick puppy) HERE’S this week’s game.

The Clue is “Wonder Years”.

I am looking for word 17 of that post.

Leave your comment on this post with that mystery word, and you will be eligible to win this disgustingly entertaining anthology this time NEXT WEEK.

Not sure how to play?  It’s easy!  Check out THIS for the instructions.

Now search, search like the wind!  The last one back is the last one back!

Good luck!

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FREEZE TAG! Book Giveaway Contest #1

Posted in Contest, Freeze Tag with tags , , , , , , , , , on July 21, 2012 by jezzywolfe

Okay, peepsicles, game time is on NOW.

Be the selected individual with the correct answer, and you will receive a FREE copy of Western Legends Publications’ debut anthology, UNNATURAL TALES OF THE JACKALOPE.

See the previous post for rules and guidelines, and here’s one more helpful hint before you begin: You will never need to look at any post earlier than Jan. 20, 2011.

Let’s play!

Clue:  “Nausea – Heartburn – Indigestion – Upset Stomach – Diarrhea.”

What is word 43 of that post?

Leave your answer in a comment on this post.  Game ends at 9 pm est on Friday, July 27th.  The winner will be selected via Random.org, and announced at 10 pm est that night.

Good luck!

Bloggy Book Giveaway: Let’s Play FREEZE TAG!

Posted in Contest, Freeze Tag with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 16, 2012 by jezzywolfe

Tags.  Those super handy little post-its that improve internet traffic.  The alphabeticy boogie boards that help us surf the waves of information.  We all use them, to ensure our posts show up when random surfers out there are googling the various topics of our expertise.  But do you ever really look at the tags assigned to the posts you’re reading?

Usually the answer is no.  Probably even if you’re reading one of my blog posts.  But if you really know me, you will realize that sometimes, even the tiniest details – such as tags – are part of the joke for me.

On many of my posts, I have used tags that sometimes have nothing at all to do with the content of that post.  It’s my own inside joke, knowing someone who googles ‘sequins’ will end up at my New Years Apocalyptic post.  Or that someone looking to learn about ‘blue footed boobies’ will wind up with a politically fueled rant.  (And how appropriate is that, might I add?)  In fact, I usually have a good laugh at my misappropriated taggings.

Now it’s your turn.

FREEZE TAG – How it’s played:

1.  You will be given a CLUE, which will lead you to an irrelevant tag on one of my posts.  The clue maybe a sentence, a jingle, a picture… but there will be a tag that fits it.  Whatever post you find that tag on, is the post that holds the answer.

2.  I will also be giving you a WORD.  Count the words (starting at the beginning of the post itself – not including the title or tags) until you reach the number I’ve given you.  The word that is that number is the answer I’m looking for.

3.  Come back to the current Freeze Tag post, and leave a comment with your answer.  Please do NOT mention which post it is in, cause obviously you and I will already know that… *winkwink*

4.  When the contest finishes, I will assign all the correct answers a number (based on the order in which they are received.)  Then your numbers will be put in to the random selector, RANDOM.ORG.  That will determine the winner!

FOR EXAMPLE:

The CLUE is:  “A coffee house specialty.”
Word  6

If you look at my previous post, There’s Jackalope in Them There Blog!, you will notice the list of tags directly beneath the title.  Among those tags is ‘cafe au lait’, a popular coffee beverage available at any coffee shop.  Once you’ve found the tag, go to the post and count the words.  Word 6 is ‘Jackalope’.  And that is the answer.

Sounds easy, right?

And for your benefit:

– I will NOT be using the previous post in my clues, so you can automatically disregard that post when tag hunting.

– The word count will be under 50, so you won’t have to sit there counting words all afternoon.

– If the clue is too difficult, I will post a second clue to help.  (But let’s face it, I ain’t the deepest bulb in the tool shed, so I don’t ‘think’ the clues will be too hard.)

– I will ship your prize to anywhere in the United States for free – if you live outside the US, I will split the cost of shipping with you 50/50.

The first contest will be posted THIS FRIDAY, June 20, at 9:00 pm est.  It will end the following Friday, at 9:00 pm est.  I will announce the lucky winner at 10:00 pm est that night.

“There’s Jackalope In Them There Blog!”

Posted in General with tags , , , , , , , , , on July 6, 2012 by jezzywolfe


Shouldn’t the plural form of jackalope be… jackaleepe?

One plus one equals “HOLY CRAP!”


When I was a child and people asked me what I wanted to do when I grew up, I never replied with ‘Ballerina’ or ‘Lawyer’ or ‘Pharmaceutical Technician’.  I looked them square in the eye (sorta) and said, “I want to write stories about bacon and jackalopes.”

I can finally say that YES, I have achieved my Everest.  Because UNNATURAL TALES OF THE JACKALOPE has been released.  Right now it is available for Kindle (paperbacks are out soon) and it can be found HERE.

But you may be thinking, “What IS a jackalope?”

UNNATURAL TALES OF THE JACKALOPE, Western Legends Publishing’s debut anthology.

A jackalope is a nefarious perplexity of mythos junk-punching zoology with a rubber mallet.  It’s pretty damn impressive.  It lulls you with the big round ‘come hither’ eyes, and then steals your whiskey and eats your babies.

But I could be wrong about that.  Its eyes may actually be more ovular, rather than round.

UNNATURAL TALES OF THE JACKALOPE includes 18 stories, a letter, and a poem of pure unadulterated horror!  And jackalopes.

Every single one of these selections are based on true stories that really did happen to the completely fictitious characters.  It’s like a rollercoaster of something rollercoastery.  This jank is all jacked up!

This is the first imprint from Western Legends Publishing, founded by the talented John Palisano, who is also UTOTJ’s editor.  The table of contents includes peyote tinged goodies from authors Jeff Strand, Sèphera Girón, Rick Pickman, Rachel Towns, Kristi Petersen-Schoonover,  Brenda Knutson,  Michael Bailey,  Jack Horne,  David J. West,  Eric S. Grizzle,  Aaron J. French,  D.T. Griffith,  Erik Williams,  Abbie Bernstein,  Matt Kurtz,  Misty Dahl,  Fawn,  Dean M. Drinkel,  Mike McCarty, and myself.

Jackalopes have brought a constant scourge of fear and perspiration to the American Southwest.  In fact, rebel youth actor James Dean’s last words were, “Holy hellfire, wh—”   While we may never know the end of that sentence, I’m pretty damned sure it had something to do with a jackalope.  And if that’s not enough to give your heebies the jeebies, then I don’t know what.