Go Home Bing, You’re Drunk!

Sometimes I like to use other languages when I write.  It’s a way to feel better about my uncooperative linguistic skills.  But since I can’t actually speak any foreign languages – aside from my impeccable Pig Latin – I must rely on online translators and generators to form my dialogue.

That would be great.  IF online generators actually translated anything correctly.  That includes the translations they give me.  For instance, if I said ‘Screw in that light bulb with your hamstrings!’ in Spanish, Bing would then translate it to ‘Cambiar la bombilla con su corva!’  But if you run THAT back through Bing, you actually get ‘Replace the bulb with your hamstring!’

Sure, that’s close, but it’s not the same, now is it?

Sometimes the difference is less than subtle.  Sometimes, Bing gets all cray cray, and comes up with some nearly unintelligible malarky that no one in their right mind would write.

Earlier today, I was browsing through Facebook posts, and I found one I couldn’t understand.  It had the ‘See Translation’ link underneath, so I clicked on that.

Bing gave me this:

Bitches!. My compi not be k walks with a toaster k has skipped all the lights and with the nonsense deleted me all media work later pk this menda was not keeping the report on your computer.  K I caught me a kit kat and I’m not saying anything but I shit in to in to and more.  And not kiero a warm snack sandwich!. Orgins.  I just take it and the fly passes me.

Okay… what?!  Best I can guess, her computer erased some files.  After that she caught a candy bar and raced a fly unsuccessfully.  Somewhere in the midst of that, she had to take a secretive dump, but it was not a warm sandwich.  To which I say, well, it wasn’t a sandwich, but I’m sure it was warm!

Thank you, Bing.  You do stupid so I don’t have to!

 

 

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