Archive for September, 2014

Live Young, Die Automaton.

Posted in Uncategorized on September 28, 2014 by jezzywolfe

When I was but a wee precocious child, I spent a lot of time to myself. I was very much a girly girl, fascinated by Barbie dolls and My Little Ponies. There were four kids that lived across the street, but I rarely played with them. I really don’t think they liked me much. I didn’t mind – they played with bugs and rode their bikes. I had little in common with them.

I was also a young lover of books. My mom used to brag that I was writing at a third grade level and reading at a sixth grade level when I was in first grade. I don’t know if that’s true… I only know I loved the books. To this day I still have reading books from second grade, as well as reading books that belonged to my older brother. Heavy hard covers, inch and a quarter thick. Books I read so often, I still remember the stories thirty some-odd years later. I spent hours in the attic, reading away my afternoons. Not in a creepy V.C. Andrews way. Just in that ‘oddball on the block that doesn’t play outside in the dirt with the other kids’ kind of way.

I composed my own songs, which I belted out as I walked to and from the recreation center. Never occurred to me that others could probably still hear me. The poems in the reading books, I turned those into songs, too. I’d sing them to myself in the attic.

Okay. So now I sound like a weirdo freak.

It’s all good. I really don’t give a damn. My life was disfunctional and lonely, mostly. But I didn’t want to be like the other kids. I wanted to be lost in the pages of fairy tales and fantasies. Not for those Disney era happy endings, but for the adventure and drama my real world lacked. I wasn’t alone in my head.

Meanwhile, my mother spent the better part of a year hospitalized for her bipolar. I was raised Pentacostal and believed the world was about to end. I was the most anxious, fearful child you could imagine… Until I lost myself in my books. Reading and music grounded me. They kept me from losing myself to the insanity around me. I am a strong, determined woman, despite my childhood.

I would love to give that to my kids, my grand kids… The ability to escape from the shit that is modern life. To use their imaginations instead of a game controller. To be able to turn off the television and still be entertained. To see the world and their lives as potential best sellers still waiting to be written.

To understand that ‘impossible’ is just a four syllable word, and not a guarantee.

The digital era has brought us many incredible advancements. It has been making the impossible very possible. And yet it feels like our collective IQ has been downgraded by a scary percentage. Is literature dissolving into screenplays and video games? Will we eventually lose the ability to comprehend written word all together, relying on virtual diagrams as our ‘Braille’?

Think about it. Is it really that far fetched? Everything is an app now. Half our online dialogue is LOL speak and emojis. We are regressing back to modern hieroglyphics. Books are giving way to tablets. Everything is starting to operate without us. They’re even building computers to regulate our organs.

The earth will be overpopulated with people, but humans will be extinct. Idiocracy, indeed.

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