Archive for resolutions

A Sober Look at a Sobering Horizon. 

Posted in Freeze Tag, General, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , on January 1, 2017 by jezzywolfe

I didn’t drunk blog for the new year. I could have. Maybe I should have. There was a bounty of beverages, after all. img_3735-1

But, after year upon year of suck, turmoil, and heartbreak, just maybe I need a different routine.

Am I saying it’s my fault we’ve had such a bad year? I don’t know. Depends on how superstitious you are. No, I’ve never eaten the correct foods, or made resolutions, or toasted at the stroke of midnight, or tickled a wallaby’s left armpit. So maybe the bad is on me.

Or maybe that’s just how the cards fell.

It was a hard political season. We are many who are apprehensive at the future of our society. Frustrated by what we perceive as a breakdown of ethics and morality…largely under the very false flag of returning to some kind of ‘God fearing’ nation. A nation that is greedy and tight-fisted and polluted with hate and ignorance. And people seem to think that’s godly? Um, no. Hell no. Fuck off with that noise. Please, oh please call me a liberal. Because if that’s what conservative means, I want to be NOTHING like you.

So, in light of this new chance at another orbit, I’ve decided to start it right. I ate a proper meal. I decided not to blog buzzed…heck, I’m a dork anyway, the alcohol doesn’t change that. And I am making resolutions. Not ‘actual’ resolutions, because we all know the flop that follows those. These are choices. Choices are not lofty goals we hope we can reach, but the shift of mindset that allows them to be realities.

My first choice is to be strong. We are all here together. I throw the word ‘love’ around loosely, but I am sincere. I love the people in my life. And I choose to be stronger for them, in the hope that my strength will give them encouragement. With that strength needs to be courage. We have a fight ahead of us, and we can no longer cower or bury our heads. You are all sisters and brothers to me, regardless of your race or ethnicity or religion, and it is my responsibility to stand by you when they try to tear us down. This is not a safety pin. This is my arms. This is my heart. And every one of you are safe with me.

My second choice is to be industrious. This year will likely bring about career changes, and I’m scared about what that means. But I have to move forward, for the sake of my family, my fuzzy babies, and my peace of mind. This applies to my aspirations as a writer, as well. I’ve accomplished some milestones recently. It’s time to follow them through.

My third choice is to be disciplined. I’ve fallen off track with my self care. It’s time to rectify that. I’m happier and clear headed when I’m physically active. I need to find that part of me again, and dig in. It will also allow me to remove clutter. There is so much clutter around me. So much useless material I don’t need. It overwhelmed and paralyzed me. And it’s time to make it history.

My fourth choice is to be present. Life comes and goes rather abruptly, as we have all witnessed this past year. You get one life, and one chance to carve it out. Daydreams are fun, but they’re fruitless. They keep me back from all that I could accomplish. It’s time to appreciate what’s in front of me now, as I have it. My family, my adoring ferrets, my irreplaceable friends. I don’t want to waste the moments we have here.

My fifth choice is to be optimistic. Because I’m not. I’m terrified of the unknown, and apprehensive to the point that I sabotage myself. No longer do I want to miss opportunities. No longer do I want to start my days worried about what can go wrong. When you live that way, the things that go right are barely a glimmer mired in your dustbin. I will not live in trepidation or nihilism any longer.

Who cares what is on the horizon? Lesser people interfered, and now we all face the dubious consequences.  But I am here. You are here. We are standing side by side on the same cliff. We face the same outstretch of sea. You know what’s beautiful about that?

Every. Single. Sunrise.

I am spending this year looking forward to every one that I get to spend with you.

Be kind. Be safe. Be brave. I got you.

 

Advertisements

Resolutionary: A Year Without Focus (New Years Post 2013)

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 1, 2013 by jezzywolfe

Hell yeah, I wanted to party. And why not? For the first time in forever, someone’s guillotine wasn’t crunching on my spinal cord. That’s a much less uncomfortable sensation. So I hit the alphabet store today, and bought bottles of guaranteed brilliance. Now the evening has passed, and I’m kinda sleepy. So here goes…

We need resolutions. Or so I hear. Everyone makes their revolutions. Some peeps even make their anti-revolutions. But not me. I’m serious, mo-fos. It’s time to quit playing games and get for reals. I’ve put a lot of thought into this list. By a lot I mean a couple minutes here or there. That’s a lot, trust me.

So here’s the damn list:

1. Continue reading

Counting Down

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , on January 1, 2010 by jezzywolfe

I have never really enjoyed New Years.

While many see it as the beginning of a new year, I grew up seeing it as an end.  Or one day closer to it.  Growing up in fire and brimstone churches will go far in driving a pessimistic perspective into one’s doomsday-addled mind.  I never wanted New Years to arrive, because it represented one day closer to destruction.

As an adult, I hate to say it, but I still dread the celebration.  What am I celebrating, exactly?  A few good things happened this past year, sure.  Sprinkled through plenty of not-so-good things.  2009 was a year of extreme highs and lows.  Because of that, it’s hard to be overly optimistic about 2010.  Get my hopes up and find myself sitting, once again, alone in front of a screen on New Years eve this time next year trying to make sense of things?  I pass in advance, if it’s all the same.

SO…

No resolutions.  A resolution is a lie people tell themselves to make today more important, only to break it a couple months into the year.  Don’t resolve to lose weight… just do it.  Saving money, organizing, changing your outlook… resolve to do them and a subliminal voice in your head is already telling you it’s okay not to follow through.  Don’t make any of those promises and plans tonight.

Tonight just reflect.  And decide.  I can’t say what decisions I will be making tonight.  Will I be sitting here by myself a year from now, trying as hard as I can not to feel sorry for myself?  I sincerely hope not.  Will my heart be warmed and welcomed where ever it is I find myself 365 days from now?  I want that.

To all the people I am blessed to call my friends and family, thank you.  The support and love you have given me is irreplaceable.  I hope that I have brought happiness and comfort to all those who are near and dear to my heart, but I already know that hasn’t always been the case.  And for that I am deeply sorry, and hope that I am no longer the burden I never intended to become to anyone.  My wishes for all my friends and loved ones is nothing but the best and brightest futures in 2010, and all the years that follow.  You are amazing souls that deserve only light and love.  If anyone upstairs still listens to me, I promise I will ask for peace and joy and success for all of you, now and forever.

I love you all.  Thank you for everything.

~Jezzy