Where have all the flowers gone? And while we’re at it, where have all the new ideas gone, too?

Come on, I can’t be the only one this bored, can I?

It’s gonna be a zany weekend at the box office.  Brand new movies include a third version of the same HULK movie, this time starring Mila Jovanovich…  because it is mandated in Hollyboob that at least two thirds of all action flicks star Mila.  That’s after she stars in yet another BATMAN movie.  They’re really mixing it up though, cause this time she plays Robin.  Edgy stuff.

Problem is it’s scheduled to hit the same weekend as that SPIDERMAN BEGINS movie, and SPY KIDS GO TO COLLEGE BUT END UP OCCUPYING WALL STREET BECAUSE OF OUTRAGEOUS STUDENT LOANS.

And that’s just this week.  Next week Nia Vardalos plays a loud Greek woman who gets married to a CATHOLIC GUY!  It’s called MY BIG FAT GREEK SECOND WEDDING.  Her fiance is played by Steve Carroll.  How well it holds up against the new taxicab driving powerhouse starring heavy hitters Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Vin Diesel, Dwayne Johnson, and Tracey Morgan is anyone’s guess.  Add to the mix the new animated adaptation of OLD YELLER, featuring the voice of Robert Pattinson as Yeller… and Snoop Dogg playing himself.

OR I could just stay home and watch another episode of  THE WALKING TRUE DEAD AMERICAN HORROR BLOOD STORY.

Really?

Am I the only one that thinks we’re being fed pre-chewed meals here?  We’ve seen all of this before.  Do we really need several different takes of the same comic book turned movie origin story?  Or 10 sequels to a movie that was not so hot to begin with, and now wouldn’t even steam in sub-arctic temperatures.  Would it kill anyone to actually present us with a new action hero… perhaps one that doesn’t spend half the movie transporting hostages in the middle of crazy drift stunt sequences?  I think the last time I was truly excited enough to watch a movie in the theater was Hangover II… another sequel.  A sequel whose brilliance lies in the fact that it basically mirrors its predecessor, making it even more sequelly than usual.

I am tired of zombies, vampires, gangsters, polygamists, and people with 20 friggin children.  I have no interest whatsoever in hearing chipmunks destroy already pathetic pop chartbusters.  And don’t even get me started on how positively uninspiring the music industry has become.

Used to be at any given time, I could fill a hand with the movies I couldn’t wait to see.  Two hands for all the new cds I wanted to purchase.  Now I sit at my computer staring at the upcoming releases, and I feel… nothing.

I’m easily disenchanted, I know.  I get bored so quickly with what’s on the radio, the television, the big screen.  Hell, even the bookstores are starting to lose their gleam.  Not much makes me giddy with girly anticipation.  And that has less to do with my not-so-girly age than with the fact that everything new looks like deja vu to me.

Did we get a defective batch of thinking caps in?  Even the WEB BOT is unimpressed.  If we are in danger of losing anything this year, my friends, it’s our passion.

Wake up and smell the flatulence, because honestly, this STINKS.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: