Disillusionment Amuses Me

My, my… so much drama. Look at all that emotional turmoil! Way to go! Everyone is a hot bucket of piss and moan.

Makes my bellyaching a bit mundane, by comparison. So thank you.

You probably think I’m referring to the recent changes to same sex marriage laws in our country. Or perhaps the debate/debacle that is the Confederate flag uproar. Wanna know my positions?

I’m completely in favor of same sex marriages. No harm, no foul. The country has MUCH bigger issues than whether two men or women can get married. It does not destroy the fabric of our unity… if anything, it solidifies us.

And that flag bit? Really? It’s a friggin flag. It’s a symbol, nothing more. It has no magical powers, other than covering that big ass hole in your wall. It’s a glorified flappy towel.

(I have a feeling I’m going to regret saying that. But think about it. You know I’m right.)

The polarization of recent years has become comical, in the most dangerous way. There is no longer a gray area in any debate. It’s one extreme or the other. I am typically at odds with even my family over views, but I do not apologize or back pedal. Will I temper my tolerance with their outrage? NO. Blood does not equal wisdom. How does being so angry and offended all the time solve anything? How can anyone see changes such as same sex marriage as a decline in society?

I recently have heard from a number of people, the refrain, “This country is going to hell.”

Really? For whom? Ask any African American, and they can tell you it has always been hell, from the moment they were brought here. Ask anyone in the LGBT community, and they can attest to the fear and violence that they, and their loved ones, have lived with.

And now they say this country is going to hell?!

My dear, dear pseudopods… this country IS hell. It has always been hell. From the moment we slaughtered millions of natives to steal their homes, to the BULLSHIT religious persecutions we execute TO THIS DAY, despite the well documented fact that this country was founded intentionally to avoid all that uptight hoopla. Christian nation, my ass. Jefferson would be infuriated.

Going to hell. Heh. Maybe we’re not going to hell…

Maybe you’re just waking up. Finally.

Rise and shine.

Freeze Tag Contest: ROUND 3!

I just want to say a quick ‘Thank You’ to my readers that have been playing along so far.  By humoring me and taking part in this contest, you are letting your freak flags fly.  Unless those are your undergarments up on the flag pole.  To which I say, “Nice choice!”   Either way, I appreciate your unabashed insanity.

With that said, the winner of a FREE copy of  ZIPPERED FLESH: TALES OF BODY ENHANCEMENTS GONE BAD! is

JEAN HURLEY-GARDNER!

Congratulations!  You’re a weirdo!  And now you’re a weirdo with a free book!  Go, you!

This week’s prize! YUM!

ROUND 3

I’m changing it up just a bit for this week’s round.  You’ll get a picture as your clue.  But I have faith that you totally get me, so this shouldn’t be hard.  Give me the correct word, and you will win a FREE copy of Library of the Living Dead’s BACONOLOGY.

What happens when horror meats bacon?  Something deliciously disturbing!  And as a bonus, reading this book will NOT go straight to your thighs!  Oink oink, bitches!

The clue this week is:

Hmmm… what could that be?

What is word 32 of that post?

Leave your answer on this post before 9pm est NEXT Friday night, and you could be a wiener!  Plus, you might win a free anthology.  Bonus!

Good luck!

(Ps ~ If this is your first time playing, you can find the detailed instructions for this game HERE.)

Freeze Tag Contest: ROUND 2!

BUT…

Before we jump right in to another crazy pool of scavenger huntiness, it’s time to announce the winner of last week’s game.  The person receiving a copy of UNNATURAL TALES OF THE JACKALOPE is:

PATTI RIGGERT!

Congratulations!  You are about to be totally freaked out by the cute and the absurd.

And for those that didn’t win this time around, no worries.  I will be giving away another copy of this anthology in three weeks.  So don’t give up!  A book of crazy bunnies with antlers can still be yours.

Freeze Tag: Round Two 

This week’s prize is a FREE copy of ZIPPERED FLESH: TALES OF BODY ENHANCEMENTS GONE BAD!

Freaked out by implants?  Scared of tribal tattoos?  You, my friend, have issues.  But you might just appreciate an entire anthology of macabre fiction based on the augmented.  Smart Rhino Publications debut anthology has received great reviews so far, and continues to totally freak out readers on a regular basis.  So if you want a copy of your own (you sick, sick puppy) HERE’S this week’s game.

The Clue is “Wonder Years”.

I am looking for word 17 of that post.

Leave your comment on this post with that mystery word, and you will be eligible to win this disgustingly entertaining anthology this time NEXT WEEK.

Not sure how to play?  It’s easy!  Check out THIS for the instructions.

Now search, search like the wind!  The last one back is the last one back!

Good luck!

FREEZE TAG! Book Giveaway Contest #1

Okay, peepsicles, game time is on NOW.

Be the selected individual with the correct answer, and you will receive a FREE copy of Western Legends Publications’ debut anthology, UNNATURAL TALES OF THE JACKALOPE.

See the previous post for rules and guidelines, and here’s one more helpful hint before you begin: You will never need to look at any post earlier than Jan. 20, 2011.

Let’s play!

Clue:  “Nausea – Heartburn – Indigestion – Upset Stomach – Diarrhea.”

What is word 43 of that post?

Leave your answer in a comment on this post.  Game ends at 9 pm est on Friday, July 27th.  The winner will be selected via Random.org, and announced at 10 pm est that night.

Good luck!

Bloggy Book Giveaway: Let’s Play FREEZE TAG!

Tags.  Those super handy little post-its that improve internet traffic.  The alphabeticy boogie boards that help us surf the waves of information.  We all use them, to ensure our posts show up when random surfers out there are googling the various topics of our expertise.  But do you ever really look at the tags assigned to the posts you’re reading?

Usually the answer is no.  Probably even if you’re reading one of my blog posts.  But if you really know me, you will realize that sometimes, even the tiniest details – such as tags – are part of the joke for me.

On many of my posts, I have used tags that sometimes have nothing at all to do with the content of that post.  It’s my own inside joke, knowing someone who googles ‘sequins’ will end up at my New Years Apocalyptic post.  Or that someone looking to learn about ‘blue footed boobies’ will wind up with a politically fueled rant.  (And how appropriate is that, might I add?)  In fact, I usually have a good laugh at my misappropriated taggings.

Now it’s your turn.

FREEZE TAG – How it’s played:

1.  You will be given a CLUE, which will lead you to an irrelevant tag on one of my posts.  The clue maybe a sentence, a jingle, a picture… but there will be a tag that fits it.  Whatever post you find that tag on, is the post that holds the answer.

2.  I will also be giving you a WORD.  Count the words (starting at the beginning of the post itself – not including the title or tags) until you reach the number I’ve given you.  The word that is that number is the answer I’m looking for.

3.  Come back to the current Freeze Tag post, and leave a comment with your answer.  Please do NOT mention which post it is in, cause obviously you and I will already know that… *winkwink*

4.  When the contest finishes, I will assign all the correct answers a number (based on the order in which they are received.)  Then your numbers will be put in to the random selector, RANDOM.ORG.  That will determine the winner!

FOR EXAMPLE:

The CLUE is:  “A coffee house specialty.”
Word  6

If you look at my previous post, There’s Jackalope in Them There Blog!, you will notice the list of tags directly beneath the title.  Among those tags is ‘cafe au lait’, a popular coffee beverage available at any coffee shop.  Once you’ve found the tag, go to the post and count the words.  Word 6 is ‘Jackalope’.  And that is the answer.

Sounds easy, right?

And for your benefit:

– I will NOT be using the previous post in my clues, so you can automatically disregard that post when tag hunting.

– The word count will be under 50, so you won’t have to sit there counting words all afternoon.

– If the clue is too difficult, I will post a second clue to help.  (But let’s face it, I ain’t the deepest bulb in the tool shed, so I don’t ‘think’ the clues will be too hard.)

– I will ship your prize to anywhere in the United States for free – if you live outside the US, I will split the cost of shipping with you 50/50.

The first contest will be posted THIS FRIDAY, June 20, at 9:00 pm est.  It will end the following Friday, at 9:00 pm est.  I will announce the lucky winner at 10:00 pm est that night.